Return Of The Revenge Of TV That Time Forgot

TV That Time Forgot, a series of daily irreverent yet evocative two or three sentence summations of once commonplace but now little remembered television shows of note – or indeed of distinct lack thereof – selected using the rigorous academic framework of ‘whichever one I thought of first’ originally began as an intentionally throwaway social media exercise during lockdown, staged purely with the intention of giving myself something amusing to do and everyone else something hopefully at least halfway approaching amusing to read at a moment when, frankly, we all sorely needed it. Well, I say giving everyone else something amusing to read. There were, of course, inevitably those who insultedly countered that they remembered the programme in question in a manner that suggested they were expecting an apology, a withdrawal, financial recompense and possibly even a triple pack of Extra Strong Mints – no, not XXX Mints thank you very much – to compensate for their hurt feelings. Then there were the over-earnest souls who would invariably open their reply with “Not forgotten, Tim” as if that was in any way liable to cause me to take their comments any more seriously, and go on to indignantly outline how they regularly talk about Stories From Toytown Featuring Larry The Lamb in their house, they thought I’d find. Then of course there were the frankly dreadful individuals who took the mention of any given programme as a legitimate excuse to explore their ‘issues’ with one of the cast members or presenters, handily tagging them into the reply to make sure that they saw it, and then expressed hard-done-by incredulity when I blocked them for their efforts. Least frequent yet most infuriating of them all, however… well, how best to put this? We should of course probably be well used to the fact that social media runs on and indeed is monetised from negativity by now, and that any troublesome hints of ‘fun’ will not only gain you little traction but even be actively stamped on by those who consider it to be detracting from their desperately clung-to downcastery-propagating popularity with the scrolling masses, but even so, pouring scorn on a couple of jokes about a sort of Blue Muttley who was also Columbo for some reason because they failed to address your concerns about what side of the Breakfast News sofa Stella Creasy sat on is as much of a bit much as it is just plain tedious. They were all interestingly quiet when it came to covering Clinton – His Struggle With Dirt, though.

Even so, not that they would necessarily appreciate any form of suggestion of the raising of the corners of the mouth but the joke was on them as TV That Time Forgot proved pleasingly popular with and indeed appreciated by the sort of individuals who were not exactly liable to castigate Thom Yorke and Tortoise from Pipkins for being ‘too jolly’. Popular enough, in fact, to find itself collated here – including not just the one on Rockliffe’s Babies that Ian Twitter removed after someone ‘reported’ it for reasons unknown but also the one on Naked City which I reluctantly had to remove myself and decline to republish owing to one individual being obnoxious to the point of libel about several of the presenters despite me asking them not to – and subsequently in handy printed form for the benefit of those who prefer a more conventional and less notification-interrupted reading option in Keep Left, Swipe Right here. What was more, in addition to having a direct influence on how I approached covering the shows that deserved to be mentioned but that there really was not that much to say about within the allocated page count in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV – an approach that it should be noted provoked the same shower of miserable so-and-so’s into complaining that it was ‘just lists’ – it had also proved sufficiently enjoyable in and of itself to the extent that I later revived it and took a first-thing-in-the-morning tongue-in-cheek look at even more overlooked and largely unimportant landmarks of obscura from television history. You are probably already way ahead of me in deducing that this would lead in turn to a corresponding revival of the same old complaints, which eventually – after someone had furiously objected to the inclusion of Stingray, which if nothing else is at least overshadowed by Thunderbirds and in any case it was a reasonably funny entry, with an uncalled-for insult thrown in for good measure – I felt moved to respond to as follows: “Just a polite reminder that TV That Time Forgot is not a personal assault on your own choice of childhood viewing, it’s just fun shorthand for anything that isn’t really as celebrated by everyone else apart from you as it ought to be, cheers!”. So, with only partial intention of deliberately acting as a personal assault on their own choice of childhood viewing, here is the collected second ‘series’ of TV That Time Forgot with a few associated additional entries, and pausing only to repeat the previous instalment’s pause for mention that you can find an expanded version of the original TV That TIme Forgot in Keep Left, Swipe Right (available in paperback here or from the Kindle Store here), and much more background on several of the featured shows in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV, here’s The Return Of The Revenge Of TV That Time Forgot. What’s more, it’s once again arranged into roughly chronological order with the unintentional outcome that it now starts with a programme that was nominally if not in actuality cancelled in 1985 to free up funding for the launch of a BBC daytime service and concludes with another programme that was nominally if not in actuality cancelled in 1985 to free up funding for the launch of a BBC daytime service. Although only one of them travels in time and space.

Crackerjack! (BBC1, 1955-84)

(CRACKERJACK!) Friday five to five-riveted subconscious-rattlingly cacophonous game show slash panto hybrid, roughly akin to one of those old Saturday Morning cinema clubs crammed into a television studio only eight million decibels louder.

Jonny Morris revealed all about what it was like to be an actual contestant on Crackerjack! (CRACKERJACK!) – and to inadvertently find himself complicit in some shameless BBC Fakery – in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

The Singing Ringing Tree (DEFA, 1957)

Nightmare-evoking quasi-hallucinogenic dubbed imported unsubtle ‘wealth is not fulfilling’ fairytale allegory shot behind Iron Curtain and through coloured cellophane accompanied by shrieky crackles of discordant electronica.

You can find the full story behind the garishly realised East German parable that scarred a million memories and scorched a million retinas in The Singing Ringing Tree here.

Stingray (ITV/ITC, 1964)

Thunderbird-overshadowed Gerry and Sylvia Supermarionated Jet Age Cold War sub-aquatic big metal fish-trouncing triumphs of space age submarine with a Captain who can’t decide between a woman who fancies him and one that… doesn’t.

You can find oceans of exasperation at the hopeless and hapless love triangle at the heart of Stingray in I’m Certain To Fall I Know here and the theme single that soundtracked it in We’ve Got A Hot One For You! here.

Play School (BBC2, 1964-88)

White Void-set daily early leaning window-peerage with dangerously free-thinking ‘modern teacher’ types, cash-strapped fringe actors and Roundhouse-unwelcome singer-songwriters assisted by resident toys led by nightmarish doll Hamble.

You can find out how Brian, Julie and The Toys readied themselves for 25th December at the dawn of a new decade in Christmas With Children’s BBC: Play School, Christmas Eve 1970 here. There’s also a look at what might have happened in the long-lost two hundred edition of Play School in Through The Two Hundredth Window here, and a chat with former Children’s BBC producer Richard Marson about the production history of Play School in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Aeronauts (ORTF, 1967-70)

French-Canadian mid-sixties mid-air rescue mission chicanery with hard funk theme song from Play School‘s Rick Jones formally asserting that anyone who tangles with the high-flying Aeronauts is ‘a loser all round’.

Andy Lewis recalled Saturday mornings spent happily cuttin’ those clouds in a fury of sound in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Watch (BBC1, 1967-09)

BBC Schools factual miscellany outlining scientific concepts, geographic expansion and putative historical veracity of myths and legends through the medium of songs, films, dramatised segments and – invariably – cutting up paper plates with scissors.

You can find a look at Watch’s classroom-legendary 1978 retelling of the story of the first ever Christmas in Christmas With Children’s BBC: Watch – The Nativity here and a chat about what it was like to watch Watch at school in The Watch Nativity Follows Shortly here.

Magpie (ITV/Thames, 1968-80)

Children’s ITV Blue Peter for kids who shopped at Leo’s Superstore with glamtastic pop guests and reports on things you might actually be able to go to and allowed into rather than National Trust remoteness in obscure locations.

You can find out how Mick, Jenny and Douglas readied themselves for 25th December as the punk wars raged in Christmas With Children’s ITV: Magpie, Christmas Eve 1976 here.

Mary, Mungo And Midge (BBC1, 1969)

Girl, dog and mouse-about-town newsreader-narrated Captain Pugwash-style animated adventures in learning how letters are posted and how parking meters work in a sprawling slab of demi-psychedelic concrete sixties modernity.

You can find a commentary on the episode of Mary, Mungo And Midge where they go to try and post a letter at my Patreon here.

The Owl Service (ITV/Granada, 1969)

Harp-heralded Swinging London crashing PVC-bootedly into folk horror-adjacent rural Wales as mismatched trio of teenagers fall under the sub-Antonioni flashframed influence of local scare stories courtesy of some possessed crockery.

You can find a look at the differences between the novel and the television version of The Owl Service in It Was Different Somehow – Something Had Changed here and a chat with Bob Fischer about The Owl Service in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

Blue Peter’s Witch Puppet Make (BBC1, 1970)

Made-earlier Jif bottle meets dishmop sorcerer-summoning Halloween accoutrements on a budget liable to provoke not so much spooky chills as askance I do not know what this represents please stares from family pet.

You can find Joanne Sheppard’s recollections of attempting to make one of the witches in Looks Unfamiliar here, as well more general thoughts on Blue Peter from Jane Hill in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here and a chat with former Blue Peter editor Richard Marson on Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Hilarious House Of Frightenstein (CHCH-TV, 1971-74)

Exceptionally early seventies Canadian comedy-horror psychedelic rock jump-scare sketch show fronted by a pizza-fixated vampire and introduced by Vincent Price in full on ‘borrowed’ for Thriller camp cackling mode.

If that doesn’t sound like it particularly makes very much sense, Genevieve Jenner did her best to explain what exactly was going on in The Hilarious House Of Frightenstein in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Crown Court (ITV/Granada, 1972-84)

Thrice-weekly densely wood-panelled mid-afternoon cross-examination of ‘off school’-spooking civil cases with actorly legislators and defendants and interactive jury made up of random members of the public, equipped with two separate terrifying theme tunes.

Suzy Robinson pretended to need to stay ‘off’ school for a further day to read the full list of charges against Crown Court on Looks Unfamiliar here.

Indoor League (ITV/Yorkshire, 1973-77)

Eh Up!-heralded bitter and baccy-fuelled lunchtime cribbage smackdown as Fred Trueman presides over teams of ha’penny-shovers probably more concerned with not spilling drinks on the way back from the bar than winning pub games.

Georgy Jamieson put her ten pence on the billiards table to bagsy a chat about Indoor League on Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Zoo Gang (ITV/ITC, 1974)

Macca-themed big budget misfire starring a bunch of silver screen legends as a bunch of reunited wartime resistance veterans using their skills to out-con con artists courtesy of multi-level switcheroos and donate loot to charity.

You can find out all about The Zoo Gang – and how Paul McCartney ended up doing the theme tune – in Good Luck, Good Hunting, Good Friends here.

Bod (BBC1, 1975)

Derek Griffiths-yodelled Taoist tales of change returning success with Buddhist boy and his vocationally existentially fulfilled associates, interspersed with thoughts of milkshake-centred universal harmonist Alberto Frog and games of snap.

There’s more about Bod – and his friends – in Christmas With Children’s BBC: Bod’s Present here and you can also find a chat with Georgy Jamieson about all things Alberto Frog in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

The Changes (BBC1, 1975)

Spooky near-future neo-luddite thriller about population rising up and smacking down the march of the machines before it had even got started with weird Public Information Film visuals and pulsating Can-influenced soundtrack.

You can find the story of my long hunt for the soundtrack of The Changes – or, technically, the source of ‘The Noise’ – in Opening Theme, Two Bands Of Incidental Music And Closing Theme here as well as chats about The Changes with Samira Ahmed on Looks Unfamiliar here and Andy Lewis on The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

Boomerang (KOMO, 1975-80)

Entirely original and not at all derivative basic numeracy and literacy pre-school education hosted by moonlighting Broadway legend Marni Nixon and what can only be described as some Haunted Muppets.

Genevieve Jenner recalled how much she loved Boomerang – and how much her mother didn’t – in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Into Infinity/The Day After Tomorrow (NBC/BBC1, 1976)

Into Infinity/The Day After Tomorrow (NBC, 1976).

Gerry Anderson-helmed After School Special pilot for putative space adventure meets physics lecture with garish post-2001 pre-The Black Hole special effects and an incongruously non-shouting Brian Blessed.

It may be overlooked now but Mitch Benn recalled how much of a big deal was made of Into Infinity – as the BBC called it – at the time in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Red Hand Gang (NBC, 1976)

Catchy theme-tuned skateboard and catcher’s mitt-heavy quirky exotically hotdog-skewed kids-play-amateur-sleuths adventure thriller serial; floundered in America but relentlessly shown in school holidays by the BBC.

Toby Hadoke looked back wistfully at those school summer holidays spent wishing he could actually join The Red Hand Gang in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Star Turn/Star Turn Challenge (BBC1, 1976-81)

Children’s BBC celeb-driven Are You Being Served? Vs. The News parlour game improv smackdown fronted by Bernard Cribbins in the guise of notion-having deerstalker-adjusting detective Ivor Notion.

Mitch Benn voiced his suspicions that he had seen Whose Line Is It Anyway?‘s format somewhere before in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Nobody’s House (ITV/Tyne Tees, 1976)

Spooktacular Victorian phantom living with suburban family sitcom that had the misfortune to arrive at the same time as The Ghosts Of Motley Hall and Rentaghost, only to find nobody had a third mansion house that needed haunting.

Nobody’s House certainly haunted Mitch Benn’s memory, as you can find out in Looks Unfamiliar here.

King Of The Castle (ITV/HTV, 1977)

Kafka Goes To Grange Hill textbook seventies Children’s ITV terrifyingness about a schoolboy discovering his real-life tormentors all have Dickens slash Carroll character actor analogues living in the basement of his grim tower block.

Donna Rees exercised her desire for that dirty rascal to get down in Looks Unfamiliar here.

King Cinder (BBC1, 1977)

Modishly Eddie Kidd slash Rockers Revival-surfing speedway-fixated oily revving around the Children’s BBC schedules with pre-Blue Peter Peter Duncan as corruption-eschewing star of the circuit.

There’s many a bike chain waved menacingly in celebration of King Cinder and other similarly gritty Children’s BBC serials in Ghosts, Monsters And Legends (And Tennis Prodigies) here.

The Incredible Hulk (CBS, 1977-82)

Trouser-splitting superheroics as Bill Bixby as ‘David’ Banner fights to avoid getting won’t like-level angry and turning into Lou Ferrigno’s Wrestlemania-esque green monster before sloping away to blubtastic piano music.

Gary Bainbridge confirmed that he liked The Incredible Hulk regardless of whether he was or wasn’t angry in It’s Good, Except It Sucks here.

Over The Moon (BBC1, 1978)

Last pre-See Saw gasp of Watch With Mother with Sam Dale presenting squelchy synth and question mark pin man-heralded science for under-fives with animated Pigeon Street-adjacent lectures from Rat Van Winkle and Obadiah Blank.

Phil Norman continued to wrestle with the existential conundra posed by Over The Moon‘s attempts to explain fundamental scientific principles in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Pinocchio (BBC, 1978)

Shrieky splintery wishing-upon-star-deficient macabre ‘family’ adaptation of macabre details of macabre novel with nightmarish puppet moving freely amongst grotesque human actors and scratchily-rendered ‘sets’.

You can find out exactly why I refused to watch past the second episode of Pinocchio in Looks Unfamiliar here.

A Man Called Sloane (NBC, 1979)

Bond ripoff from a time when Bond was already more or less ripping itself off as it was, featuring a blatant Tee-Hee tribute act and countless computers with big spools of tape which changed entirely between pilot and series.

Mitch Benn ruminated on the confusion caused by that very discrepancy between pilot and series when ITV shunted the whole lot together in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Enchanted Castle (BBC1, 1979)

Children’s BBC adaptation of E. Nesbit’s ‘other’ novel, famed for generation-spooking Blue Peter ‘Make’-esque paper plate-faced cardboard mask baddies The Ugly-Wuglies and… not much else.

Joanne Sheppard admitted to being one of that spooked generation of Ugly-Wugly averters in Looks Unfamiliar here, and there’s more about those semi-celebrated botherers of The Enchanted Castle in Ghosts, Monsters And Legends (And Tennis Prodigies) here.

Quincy’s Quest (ITV/Thames, 1979)

Eye-infuriatingly garish song and dance slash panto spectacular starring Tommy Steele as a discarded ‘real boy’ doll determined to secure a department store Santa’s help in saving some broken toys from a burning skip and/or the machinations of a witch, with the assistance of a very young Patsy Kensit.

You can get a vivid measure of just how eye-infuriatingly garish Quincy’s Quest actually was in Christmas With Children’s ITV: Quincy’s Quest here and in Looks Unfamiliar with Jacqueline Rayner here.

The Innes Book Of Records (BBC2, 1979-81)

Meditative miscellany of Neil Innes songs set to whimsical expressionist semi-dramatised short films casting an amused glance at life, love and laundrettes. Like jam but for people who like to crack the occasional smile.

Donna Rees proved that she really does still know all the lyrics to Drama On A Saturday Night on Looks Unfamiliar here.

Spine Chillers (BBC1, 1980)

Moderately ill-advised Haunted Jackanory pre-news ghost story Children’s BBC gambit featuring actors with a capital ac-tor reading out M.R. James short stories in Victorian libraries whilst decked out head to toe in regency finery.

Joanne Sheppard shudderingly recalled the dilemma of both being desperate to watch Spine Chillers and being too terrified to be in the same room as it in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Sport Billy (Filmation, 1980)

Perma-tracksuited goody-two-tennis-shoes ‘good sport’ type fighting lack of fair play with size-changing bag full of sports equipment as if that kid in school who like ‘sport’ rather than any actual individual sport had been given their own cartoon.

Anna Cale rummaged around in her oversized kit bag for evidence that Sport Billy existed in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Maths-In-A-Box (BBC1, 1980)

Calculator Age BBC Schools sci-fi skewed basic numeracy aiming to make addition and subtraction ‘as easy as one two three’ with hard-of-multiplying tikki-tikki-tox chanting stranded alien Powka rebuilding his kaput box-sized spaceship.

Adam S. Leslie calculated whether Maths-In-A-Box really was ‘as easy as one, two three’ in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Swish Of The Curtain (BBC1, 1980)

Juvenile wartime derring-do about a bunch of youngsters whose apparent greatest crime against society and morality is staging a single-handed amateur theatrical. Directly responsible for Sarah Greene getting Blue Peter

Lisa Parker’s own Children’s BBC-inspired curtain-swishing took centre stage in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Pig In The Middle (ITV/LWT, 1980-83)

Seventies-refusing-to-sod-off suburban partner-hopping sitcom except they didn’t quite dare to go that far on primetime ITV, promising never-delivered rampant naughtiness to a generation of thwarted eight year olds.

The illicit thrill of ‘staying up’ for hinted raciness in Pig In The Middle was almost too much for a young Georgy Jamieson, as you can find out in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Ulysses 31 (FR3, 1981)

Greek Myth-riffing Franco-Japanese anime charting titular Bee Gee-alike’s search through space for the legendary Planet Earth, assisted by diminutive comedy robot No-No who only introduced himself the thirty four times in the theme song.

Vikki Gregorich revealed how Ulysses 31 found his way onto her wedding list in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

Codename Icarus (BBC1, 1981)

Eerie stentorian Cold War-themed thriller about group of ‘gifted’ schoolchildren being forcibly recruited into some sort of academy for developing anti-Commie silicon chip hardware. Not exactly Rentaghost.

Rae Earl recounted her own irrational fear of being inducted into the Icarus Foundation in Looks Unfamiliar here, and there’s also a look at assorted other sinister Children’s BBC serials of the era in Ghosts, Monsters And Legends (And Tennis Prodigies) here.

The Deceivers (BBC2, 1981)

Rare Cerebral Beadle early evening BBC2 factutainment excursion wittily excitably retelling the wild exploits of history’s greatest swindlers and hoaxers illustrated by Korg-accompanied CSO-rendered Perkin Warbecks.

Mitch Benn was not decieved by The Deceivers in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Spider-Man And His Amazing Friends (NBC, 1981-83)

Green Goblin-upending inter-semester escapades of Peter Parker with lukewarm assistance from X-Man Bobby ‘Iceman’ Drake and last minute Human Torch analogue Angelica ‘Firestar’ Jones. Watch out, Video-Man!

Garreth Hirons found himself getting suitably hot under the collar about Firestar in It’s Good, Except It Sucks here.

W.A.L.R.U.S. (BBC, 1981-90)

‘Serious’ Mode Timmy Mallet-fronted classroom encouragement to explore creative writing with proper punctuation; cause of enormous cross-legged excitement one week when a Dalek showed up and exterminated a woman for being ‘Welsh’.

You can find out just how excited I was to spot that Dalek on W.A.L.R.U.S. while off school one day – look, we had to make our own entertainment in those days – in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Kevin Turvey – The Man Behind The Green Door (BBC2, 1982)

Week-in-the-life fly-on-the-wall profile of Rik Mayall’s self-styled hard-hitting investigative journalist who doubtless considered a fly on a wall a ‘story’ with music from Keith Marshall (And His Musical Anarchy).

Donna Rees professed her love for the man behind The Man Behind The Green Door in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Pullover (ITV/Central, 1982)

Children’s ITV-enabled puppets on a black background nocturnal bedroom expeditions of jersey-hewn toy owned by the unaware enunciation-endorsing ‘The Boy’ and bearing an unsettling resemblance to an evolutionary ancestor of Flat Eric

You can hear all about Pullover from that unaware enunciation-endorsing ‘The Boy’ himself, Danny Kodicek, in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Joni Jones (S4C, 1982)

Mundanity-as-an-art-form wry humour melodrama about evacuees in wartime Wales exasperatedly struggling with unfamiliar social conventions and defiant deployment of local language including – gasp – mild swearing. Effectively a non-duck Wil Cwac Cwac.

Adroddodd Anna Cale am ei hymdrechion anffodus i ddilyn Joni Jones yn Looks Unfamiliar yma.

A Christmas Lantern (ITV/Central, 1982)

Anachronisticer-than-anachronistic Christmas Eve variety spectacular about a family looking back at ‘Christmas through the ages’ via Light Entertainment-skewed kaleidoscope and a Little Town-miming Cliff Richard.

You can find out just how much effort it took me to find out what A Christmas Lantern was even called in Thing With Cliff Richard In here and there’s also a chat about it in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Eureka! (BBC1, 1982-86)

Clive Doig-driven Children’s BBC history-via-end-of-term-revue look at gag-friendly breakthroughs, inventions and innovations courtesy of rep company boasting the diverse approaches to factual accuracy of Madeleine Smith, Wilf Lunn and Sylvester McCoy.

Mitch Benn outlined why he thought Eureka! was a good idea in Looks Unfamiliar here.

No. 73 (ITV/TVS, 1982-88)

Phlan Phling-averse Tiswas successor deploying controversial hints of ‘structure’ as Sandi Toksvig marshals yooftastic house-sharers through semi-sitcom guides to replicating fun pursuits on no budget. Notorious for a guesting ‘excitable’ Iggy Pop.

Estelle Hargraves explained why No. 73 was less hazardous than actual shared houses, even taking into account that time a guest was bitten by a snake live on air, in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

Murun Buchstansangur (Channel 4/Bevanfield Films, 1982-89)

Angularly-named textbook early Channel 4 oddness masquerading as children’s television about feckless miserable gonk man who lived under the sink whose resemblance to a certain tech billionaire should not go unnoticed.

Nina Buckley took up suitably melancholic under-sink residence in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Dramarama – The Exorcism Of Amy (ITV/Thames, 1983)

Dramarama - The Exorcism Of Amy (ITV, 1983).

Uber-nightmarish angularly lit ‘Spooky’ offering starring a young Lucy Benjamin as a girl in foster care with ‘dark side’ dual personality imaginary friend set against Boys And Girls Come Out To Play background janglement.

Joanne Sheppard revisited her unease at Amy’s refusal to promise the audience a ‘happy ending’ in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Baker Street Boys (BBC1, 1983)

Sherlock Holmes Expanded Universe-gambit affording Watson pal’s over-hatted urchin associates from the original Conan Doyle their own series of Lestrade-exasperating smuggling and burglary-trouncing cases to deal with.

You really don’t have to do very much detective work to find fans of The Baker Street Boys as you can listen to Martin Ruddock talking about it on Looks Unfamiliar here and Joanne Sheppard doing likewise on The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

The Machine Gunners (BBC1, 1983)

Battle Of Britain-set bleakly overtoned derring-do about some children who find and capture a German pilot. Kind of like that Dad’s Army episode without anyone not telling him their name is Pike.

Toby Hadoke tried to work out how far he was supposed to actually enjoy The Machine Gunners in Looks Unfamiliar here.

I’ve Got This Mole (ITV/Cel Film And Video Production, 1983)

Perplexment-engendering gag-spoilery animated adaptation of celebrated pre-Carrott’s Lib Jasper Carrott rodentially bothered routine, rendered in time-honoured ‘this isn’t a cartoon!!’ animated sitcom opening title underwhelmment style.

Baffled? Well Mark Thompson certainly was, as you can find out in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Tucker’s Luck (BBC2, 1983-85)

Grange Hill spinoff charting mixed fortunes of Tommy, Alan and Tucker as they navigated the ‘dole’, dodged railings-vaulting rude boys and lamented their inability to afford chips like a Job Centre-set Just Seventeen photostory.

Bob Fischer joined the queue in an orange-logoed Job Centre to ‘sign on’ to his recollections of Tucker’s Luck in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Annika (ITV/Central, 1984)

Melancholic Eurobiking tragi-romantic melodrama starring a young Jesse Birdsall, with musical contributions from, erm, hardcore anarcho-punk outfit The Waltons.

Toby Hadoke fought back tears and covered his ears while recounting his obsession with Annika in Looks Unfamiliar here.

First Love: Winter Flight (Channel 4, 1984)

Reece Dinsdale-starring Air Force-themed one-off in Channel 4’s early ‘First Love’ strand which got a VHS release in America promoted as if it was a brand new high profile epic love story feature film. It wasn’t.

Toby Hadoke fought back tears and covered his ears slightly less while recounting his obsession with Winter Flight in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Driving Ambition (BBC1, 1984)

Oddly-scheduled Saturday evening mid-eighties ‘women do Formula One’ comedy drama featuring brilliantly named character Ken Lark. Who was slightly more gear-shiftingly serious than his name might suggest.

Toby Hadoke revealed precisely how driven and ambitious Driving Ambition left him feeling in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Around The World With Willy Fog (BRB Internacional, 1984)

Palin-baiting if not Palin-beating Verne-recalibrating anthropomorphic wager-driven circumnavigation challenge equipped with maddeningly catchy theme song ensuring steady stream of letters to Andy Crane demanding availability in ‘the shops’.

Did Mic Wright find a crock of gold just sitting where the rainbow’s ending? Find out in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

Spy Trap (BBC1, 1985)

Perestroika-averse late stage Cold War Children’s BBC quiz show for aspirant long-coated code breakers, with observation rounds via rifle sight overseen by Bill Homewood and random outbreaks of star jumps marshalled by Bill Pertwee.

Phil Norman studiously avoided having to swing by the sweat room for some punishment with Pertwee in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Ewoks (Lucasfilm, 1985)

Canonically-troubling heavily sidelined Dairylea-flogging Droids-adjacent ‘serious’ fan-infuriating animated further slash previous adventures of Teebo and company which once led directly into Return Of The Jedi but now… don’t.

Resolutely untroubled by notions of ‘canon’, Katy Brent talked about her childhood love of all things Ewoks in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Fox Tales (ITV/Central, 1985)

Peter Davison-narrated post-Doctor Who gig collection of puppets on a black background-rendered deeply European animal-skewed folk tales from the fading out end of ‘Hauntology’ with haunting cautionary ITV continuity announcer credit-interrupting interjections to match.

Danny Kodicek ran through his recollections of the making of Fox Tales – and lack of recollection of those oddly chilling continuity warnings – in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Street Hawk (ABC, 1985)

Audacious Knight Rider But It’s A Motorbike gambit concerning one Jesse Mach and his LCD-bolstered ‘hyperthrust’-enhanced two-wheeler and their regular deployment to protect heiresses, usually from other heiresses. Ran out of unleaded after one half series.

Athena Kugblenu admitted to her still-seething jealousy at not owning a Street Hawk bag in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Jayce And The Wheeled Warriors (TF1, 1985)

Anime-emulating post-Mad Max tinted high concept straight-faced sci-fi toy range tie-in with fresh-faced goody two shoes teens driving souped-down HGV contraptions at sort of superintelligent plant-human villains.

Becky Darke resumed her best efforts to work out what Jayce And The Wheeled Warriors actually was in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Shadow Chasers (ABC, 1985-86)

Before-the-event X-Files meets after-the-event A-Team starring for no readily discernible reason Trevor Eve amongst glossary of glossy Americans with good dental plans, inevitably involving non-supernatural Scooby Doo level resolution.

Mark Thompson chased his shadowy recollections of Shadow Chasers in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Max Headroom Show (Channel 4, 1985-87)

Putative World’s First Computer Generated Chat Show Host – Matt Frewer in a sort of rubber wig – links the Sledgehammer video and interviews with Cutting Crew with glitchingly stuttered Reagan-baiting zingers.

I argued that Max Headroom’s Christmas single is more deserving of a place on the festive airwaves than East 17 in Looks Unfamiliar here, while Grace Dent explored her enduring fascination with The Max Headroom Broadcast Signal Intrusion Incident in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Roland Rat – The Series (BBC1, 1985-88)

Channel and shark-jumping repositioning of TV-am’s cupboard-bothering Stapleton-interrupting ‘Superstar’ as a sort of Felt Wogan with too many supporting characters kicking off Saturday Nights on BBC1; also officially Doctor Who ‘canon’.

Ben Baker outlined exactly how delighted he was to receive The Roland Rat Superstar Annual No. II that Christmas in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Wogan (BBC1, 1985-92)

The Best Of Looks Unfamiliar: Top Cat Will Always Be Boss Cat.

Thrice-weekly early evening chat show with Old Tel meeting the great and good and those rogues with something to plug, all aboard The Good Ship Wogan for a for a fair old natter about what they’ve been up to and what they shouldn’t be.

Trying to start the video without inadvertently capturing a tape-wasting three minutes of Wogan was the scourge of being a late eighties Doctor Who fan – well, one of the scourges – and there’s more about that in Time And Tide Melts The Snowman here.

Running Scared (BBC1, 1986)

Direction-changing mid-eighties Kate Bush-soundtracked Children’s BBC gritty brutal thriller about family on the run from ruthless East End hard man played by D.I. Burnside from The Bill and keen to retrieve some errant incriminating ‘bins’.

Mark Thompson made no apology for his ‘bins’-related perplexment in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

The Trap Door (ITV/Queensgate Productions. 1986)

Willie Rushton-related comic tales of skellington Boni, spider Drutt and clichéd classic horror trope blue blob man thing Berk resolutely avoiding opening the horror-curtailing hatch at the behest of the unseen Thing Upstairs.

Garreth Hirons ignored all admonitions to avoid opening that Trap Door in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

Strike It Rich! (BBC1, 1986-87)

Textbook big wacky ensemble cast must-see event drama about very eighties shareholder dividend payouts, now almost entirely forgotten due to sharing its name with an ITV game show that started on almost exactly the same day.

Toby Hadoke looked back to his enjoyment of the correct Strike It Rich! in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Go For It! (BBC1, 1986-89)

‘Keep Fit’ in-cashing early evening fingerwag setting two families against each other to see who can be most berated for liking chips with exhausting ‘go-getting’ presentational bent and gags about photofits of Sir Walter Raleigh etc. Roll on Neighbours.

Joanne Sheppard explained why she declined to put a little bit in to get a little bit out in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Windfalls (ITV/Filmfair, 1987)

Eerie twig-hewn chronologically off-beam Children’s ITV animated ruralist folk wisdom whimsy with pronounced Wicker Man vibe. Made by leaves, with leaves, for leaves.

Rose Ruane expressed her delight at finding an unexpected ramble through folk horror in the middle of Scally The Dog-era Children’s ITV in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Aliens In The Family (BBC1, 1987)

Warring children of remarrying divorcees put aside their differences to assist Just Seventeen model-type alien Bond in his quest to escape the ‘Wirdegens’ with Morten Harket references and adolescent ‘issues’ thrown in to afford semblance of modernity.

There’s more about Aliens In The Family – and that line of dialogue – in Ghosts, Monsters And Legends (And Tennis Prodigies) here.

The Return Of Bruno (HBO, 1987)

Inter-David Addison/John McClane oddity starring Bruce Willis as spoof sixties rocker that time forgot hitting the comeback trail, accompanied by album of straight non-comic covers that everyone thought was just him doing it for real.

Paul Whitelaw recalled how The Return Of Bruno inadvertently provided his route into an appreciation of classic soul music – no, really – in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Out Of This World (MCA, 1987-91)

Multi-million episode saga of time-stoppy ‘gleeping’ half-alien teenager Evie and her inevitable involvement in a situation that necessitates a handy moral. Bizarrely shown by ITV while target audience were all at school.

Katy Brent nominated ‘gleeping’ as being one of the upsides to being off school in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Corners (BBC1, 1987-91)

CBBC light science magazine show explaining how everything from postal system to 24-track recording studio worked with Sophie Aldred, Simon Davies and puppet Jo Korna who got letters from children mocking it for having no legs.

Doctor Who fans really didn’t know how good they had it with Corners hidden away in the, well, corner of the schedules, and there’s more recrimination about that oversight in Time And Tide Melts The Snowman here.

Superboy (Salkind Productions, 1988-92)

Rights-flogging post-movies attempt by Salkind Brothers to squeeze more out of the franchise like an empty Super-Toothpaste Tube despite Supergirl failing to take off. Made about ten million episodes before anyone could stop them.

You can find out exactly how I felt about young Clark Kent usurping The Old ALF-er from the Saturday Afternoon schedules in ALFSplaining: Teatime Without ALF here.

What’s Your Story? (BBC1, 1988-90)

Interactivity-anticipating semi-improvised drama experiment involving viewers sending in plot suggestions marshalled by Sylvester McCoy in Book Tower/Whodunnit?-style very slightly in-character ‘Extra Doctor Who‘ gambit.

You can find out exactly how far What’s Your Story? qualified as ‘extra’ Doctor Who in Time And Tide Melts The Snowman here.

What’s That Noise? (BBC1, 1988-93)

Craig Charles-fronted ‘music for everyone’ effort where the Young Cellist Of The Year would meet Then Jerico, Napalm Death and a bloke who played the washboard for an ‘all-star jam’ that apparently had ‘got to be funky’.

If you like trombone, saxophone, oboe, cello, trumpet, clarinet, double bass, bass drum et al, then you’ll probably also like the chat about What’s That Noise? in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Art Of Travel (BBC2, 1989)

Michael Palin winds down from racing around the world in eighty days with a whistle-stop tour of the pale-hued history of railway posters, courtesy of what are effectively a string of one-Python Flying Circus sketches.

Largely on account of the fact that it went out at the same time as Around The World In 80 Days, The Art Of Travel went almost unnoticed at the time but you can find out more about what happened when he arrived back in miserable old England in Like The Jolly Christmas Lights Of Regent Street They Are To Prove Sadly Deceptive here.

The Saint (ITV/LWT, 1989)

Late eighties revival starring MFI-haired Simon Dutton in procession of pin man-deficient mild-mannered mysteries on assumption that if they used the name then stuff would just happen and which ITV appeared to show by accident.

Mitch Benn recalled how viewers did not so much tune in for The Saint as just sort of stumble across it whilst waiting for The Noel Edmonds Saturday Roadshow in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Round The Bend (ITV/Central, 1989-91)

Spitting Image-bankrolled Oink! Comic liferaft sewer-situated newspaper office full of literal gutter journalists overseen by reptilian Russell Spam teddy bear-fearing Lou Grant analogue Doc Croc. Hopefully they only had a nose for news.

Ben Baker filed his hastily-spiked front cover exclusive on Round The Bend in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

Dooby Duck’s Disco Bus (BBC1, 1989-92)

Weird show-out-of-time late eighties filler with flailing puppets resembling storybook illustrations that freaked you out but you never quite knew why miming to pop hits interspersed with occasional club comic gags.

Anna Cale did her absolute best to attempt to explain what was going on at any point in Dooby Duck’s Disco Bus and why in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Maid Marian And Her Merry Men (BBC1, 1989-94)

Blackadder-adjacent history-flipping Sherwood silliness slash satire repositioning Marian as the real Sherriff-trouncing brains behind otherwise hard-of-thinking hooded men, much to the consternation of childhood arch-rival Rotten Rose

Carrie Dunn recalled how Maid Marian And Her Merry Men hit the target for her in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV here.

Round The Twist (ABC, 1989-2001)

Often quite literally down under lighthouse-dwelling escapades of Pete, Linda and Bronson Twist and encounters with reverse-doubles, pants-losing ghosts, all too effective magic lipstick and scatalogically defensive seagulls.

Katy Brent clarified whether she had ever, ever felt like this in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Dreamstone (ITV/FilmFair, 1990-95)

Mike Batt-soundtracked Melua-pilfered mid-concept animated odyssey concerning green bears assisting Gandalfy good-doer in nightly allocation of non-nightmarish subconscious nocturnal thought patterns.

Athena Kugblenu recalled her bizarre struggle to actually be permitted to watch The Dreamstone in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Bucky O’Hare (Sunbow/Marvel, 1991)

Post-Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles cartoon escapades of futuristically self-aware green pirate space rabbit and ironically named band of rogues and bandits, as relentlessly shown by Children’s BBC in the early nineties.

Becky Darke attempted not to inadvertently address herself as ‘Bucky’ in Looks Unfamiliar here.

A Perfect Christmas (BBC2, 1991)

Festive archive-scouring day long paper hat bonanza liberally decorated with a very black and white variety of tinsel, heavy on Light Ent but bookended by two very different forms of terror in A Ghost Story For Christmas and Flower Pot Men.

There’s more about what it was like to watch A Perfect Christmas at the time – and which bits you were better advised going out and missing – in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Golden Cagoule (BBC Scotland, 1992)

Decidedly odd except-for-viewers-in-everywhere-else panel show in which Muriel Gray quizzed regionally-appropriate celebrity contestants about their hillwalking expertise in the hope of winning… a cagoule. Surely they would have already had one??

Al Kennedy sought reassurance that he hadn’t just imagined The Golden Cagoule after all in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Bad Influence! (ITV/Yorkshire, 1992-96)

Parent Teacher Association-baiting control waggling-jump into the exciting new world of video game consoles courtesy of Andy Crane, Violet Berlin and pause button-occasioning rapid fire info text barrage the ‘Datablast’.

Athena Kugblenu proudly recounted just how bad an influence Violet Berlin was on her in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Just A Gigolo (ITV/Carlton, 1993)

Peak being-in-everything Tony Slattery stars as a schoolteacher who finds himself also having to work as a male escort because reasons and even finds time to sing the theme song as a duet with himself.

Carrie Dunn wistfully recalled her teenage predilection towards Tony Slattery being in everything – and then being too shy to speak to him on the Tube – in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Harry Hill’s Fruit Fancies (BBC2, 1994)

Little-seen massively pre-fame series of part-Luis Buñuel part-ITV Sitcom part-Tufty Advert part-just plain odd silent comedy shorts set in an even more abstract corner of the Finsbury Park-adjacent Harry Hill Universe.

Gabby Hutchinson Crouch told the thrillingly improbable story of how Harry Hill’s Fruit Fancies led to her getting married in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Nelson’s Column (BBC1, 1994-95)

John Gordon Sinclair sitcom about a journalist called Gavin Nelson who… has a column. It’s either the worst ever name for a sitcom or… the best?

Anna Cale didn’t have an answer to this in Looks Unfamiliar here either.

Due South (CTV, 1994-99)

Tail end of post-Twin Peaks quirky drama mini-boom meets even mini-er momentary Mountie craze in Canadian In Chicago quasi-Slattery culture clash comedy crimebust. Unclear whether this particular Mountie always got his can.

Athena Kugblenu looked back at the square peg-style exploits of her favourite small-screen Mountie – and there were plenty of them to choose from at the time – in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The High Life (BBC2, 1995)

Much-loved mile high escapades of Steve McCracken and Sebastian Flight aboard a Boeing going high, compensating for tedium of Air Scotia’s hazardously-staffed short haul flights with catty comments and dreams of aviatory upgrade.

Al Kennedy relived The High Life and relived it well in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Murder One (ABC, 1995-97)

Monolithically linear legal procedural with added allegorical undertones alluding to decline of social contract, introduced by heavyweight cast moodily reflected on fragmenting shards of ‘justice’ in opening titles.

Athena Kugblenu presented her findings on being addicted to Murder One long before binge-watching was even legal in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Carnal Knowledge (ITV/Granada, 1996)

Ann Summers-skewed Rampant Rabbit-ahoy game show with Graham Norton and Maria McErlane quizzing couples about bedroom habits in detail the audience could probably have done without; apart from Cher who apparently watched avidly.

Sadly we have no indication as to whether Cher has heard the chat about Carnal Knowledge with the show’s creator, one Bibi Lynch, in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Last Chance Lottery (Channel 4/Green Inc., 1997)

Guinevere and Lancelot two-fingerage with Patrick Kielty daring rowdy studio audience to bet their losing tickets on a procession of Chris Evans Meets Game For A Laugh postmodern pop culture Dadaist challenges. Did not roll over.

Georgy Jamieson bet her last Lucky Dip on the chances of someone else remembering Last Chance Lottery in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Victoria Wood With All The Trimmings (BBC1, 2000)

Acidly-frosted festive sketch show comeback as Victoria attempts to navigate the explosion of digital channels toting accidental output, concluding with song and dance spectacular takedown of Anne Widdecombe on a frequency too high for her to hear.

You can find out exactly why we need an Anne Widdecombe song for every figure in public life in Looks Unfamiliar here.

The Sally Lockhart Mysteries (BBC1, 2006-7)

Post-Doctor Who gig for Billie Piper as literary lock-picking diamond-recovering rough diamond posing as a refined lady of breeding with a mean left hook outsmarting proto-UKIP types in Victorian polite society.

You can find out exactly why The Sally Lockhart Mysteries was effectively better ‘extra’ Doctor Who than some actual literal extra Doctor Who in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Party Animals (BBC1, 2007)

Post-This Life Matt Smith-centric New Labour lives and loves and lobbying drama that now feels like it belongs to – and yes, you really are reading this – a more innocent era.

So much so, in fact, that even tireless spin-unspinner Mic Wright cannot avoid a sneaking affection for Party Animals, as you can find out in Looks Unfamiliar here.

Lost In Austen (ITV/Mammoth Screen, 2008)

Life On Mars-surfing Into The Darcyverse drama about woman who immersed herself in Northanger Abbey a little too much, bankrolled by ITV in thick of Primeval/Torchwood/Robin Hood/Bonekickers goldrush to find the ‘new’ New Doctor Who.

Mark Thompson fired up the Austin in Looks Unfamiliar here. Hang on, that’s the wrong one, isn’t it.

Meet The Thirteenth Doctor (BBC1, 2017)

Oft-overlooked high profile Jodie Whittaker-unhoodying introductory trailer masquerading as a fully-fledged officially recognised mini-episode adventure involving, erm, a very short walk through a forest.

No matter what certain unaccountably exercised gentlemen may have to say on the subject, Jodie Whittaker was fantastic as Doctor Who and it was genuinely sad to see her go, and you can find out exactly why in Aw, Brilliant! here.

Buy A Book!

There’s lots more about thousands of time-forgotten television shows in The Golden Age Of Children’s TV, available in all good bookshops and from Waterstones here, Amazon here, from the Kindle Store here and directly from Black And White Publishing here.

You can also find the original TV That Time Forgot collected in printed form in Keep Left, Swipe Right, available in paperback here or from the Kindle Store here.

Alternately, if you’re just feeling generous, you can buy me a coffee here. Why not get it from Bagdad Cafe (CBS, 1990). Yes I’m sure you think I’ll find that actually that was a film actually, but there was a television spinoff too, with Whoopi Goldberg in it and everything. NOBODY remembers that.